I’ve been trying to think of something to make a blog post
about but I can’t think of something to type about long enough to validate a
whole post… So I decided to make one about all of those things! So, warning,
there is some scrambled thinking about to happen!
The first thing I wanted to write about was on Sunday when I
was down at my grandparents’ house for the Super Bowl (go Giants!) and it made
me think about what all I lost by moving. I am glad we moved because I wouldn’t
have all these wonderful and life-changing people in my life. However, by
moving I have missed: one of my best friends getting pregnant and then finding
out that she miscarried, all of the kids that live down there growing up,
spending time with my grandparents who aren’t gettin any younger and basically
just growing up fully with all the girls down there. Maybe I’d be less of a
tomboy if I had gone through middle school with them, considering how girly
they all are, but who knows? I guess I just miss how easy it all used to be and
sometimes I wish I could go back and convince my parents to stay there just to
see how it would’ve turned out.
Another thing I wanted to blog about was just how friggin
self-conscious I am! It’s so ridiculous sometimes. I can write novels about
anything but it’s so hard for me to just say a simple thing to someone I care
about when I think it might not be what they want or what they expect me to
say. I pretend to think I’m awesome and so great but inside I’m all, “Nyahh I’m
so nervous.” How silly is that? Then there’s times when I just blurt out
something and my brain has a panic attack while I wait with bated breath to see
if they’ll laugh or smile or something like that.
Hmm…I feel like there was one more thing but I can’t seem to
think of it right now. My brain kinda feels like it’s pressing against my skull
at the moment and it’s making it hard to think. Also my ear is making a
throbbing sound and it’s very distracting. It’s taken me forever just to write
this much cause I keep getting interrupted by my ADD.
BLARG!
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